on living inter-generationally

One thing I love about my life. It's very inter-generational.

I love my home group, and not only because I love the other girls and guys I've become deep friends with. I love the two couples, both my parents age, who lead our group. Their wisdom, their marriage examples, their experience that they're so willing to share. And I love the four little girls who come to group with their parents each week. Spanning 7-12, they are a true blessing and beauty to me.

At work, I'm usually the youngest girl. But I love learning from the women here. They have seen so much, been through so much, and have wisdom beyond my years.

I have the most awesome two grandparents. Grandpa Blaine and Grandma Ellie. Seriously, they are better than anyone could think to ask for. Praying for me by name along with the rest of their grandkids every single morning. Always ready with a listening ear when pain strikes or I'm celebrating or I'm just processing through something confusing.

Our culture seems so obsessed with youth. I can see how many girls might be afraid to get older, to lose their youth and what are culture says is your most beautiful time. But I don't believe it. I know the beauty of aging and of wisdom and of exploring the new seasons of your life. I'm seeing it all around me. Beautiful women of all ages loving their families and loving the people around them. Seeking strength in their communities and being able to give back in new ways.

I have people to look to. And I think that makes all the difference.

Remembering Karli

I loved Karli Rose. In fact, I think I love her still. I've lost many loved ones, and I don't remember the whens exactly. But when someone dies on your 18th birthday, it's pretty hard to forget the day. So it's easy to calculate that today Karli has been gone from us 7 years, 5 months, and 11 days.

I ran into Karli's family the other day. Her beautiful family. At the noodle restaurant. There they were. Ellis, Kristi, and Alli. And another little girl. A precious little girl. Four years old maybe.

I hadn't seen the whole family together in so very long. I couldn't help but come and say hi and almost cry and just want to be with them. Alli, always known to me as Karli's little sister, introduced me to this little girl. Her daughter. Her daughter Karli. What a beautiful name. What a beautiful memory. What a beautiful tribute. Little Karli. She shared with little Karli that I was a friend of Aunt Karli's. That we went to school together and that we were dear friends. I wanted to hold little Karli in my arms and cry. of missing and of longing and of beauty. I'm thinking of Karli today.

alright already with the fearing God!

So I lost my devotional last week. Which was terrible because I really love it so much. I've been reading random things from Proverbs for the week, but I was really missing my new fave devo book. Fast forward to last night. In getting ready to move, I unloaded the boxes a friend gave me for packing. And lo and behold, my devotional! Hooray.

Now I was just going to start reading it again this morning. But last night I had this really gut feeling that I needed to read the devo for that day instead of checking my email before bed. Okay, so I turn to the devo for March 15. And wouldn't you believe...

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. Prov. 3:7

Alright already! I get it. Fear the Lord. Man, I can't get away from this message. The fifth time in two weeks that this message has come right in front of me. I'm definitely exploring the "fear the Lord" thing. And I'll report back my findings right here.

micromanaging God?

In a discussion the other morning with my coworkers, the idea of micromanagement surfaced. No one really likes a micromanager. And the question arose whether maybe in our unwillingness to surrender certain areas of our life to God we do in fact try to micromanage God. Now I realize this isn't a perfect analogy (as really any analogy of our God or our relationship with Him in going to be inherantly flawed), but let's just think on it a minute longer.

I tell God here, take my life. But then I keep bugging him about how He's getting His work done. Looking over His shoulder, pointing out where I think He could go, suggesting ideas I really think He should take from me. You get the picture.

Father, May I trust You with my life. My I surrender each day those things to which I hold most dear. May I continually remember that You want the best for me even more than I do.

fear-less?

Overcoming Fear.
Fearless.
We want to be beyond fear. without fear.

We think fear = bad.

So of course our first reaction to the idea of fearing God is going to be bad.

We don't like fear.
We've been conditioned to fight fear. overcome fear. be fearless.

But if it's not fear that's the issue?
Not the fear itself, that is.
What if the true issue really is with the object of our fear?

And maybe it's all about choosing the right thing or person to fear.

2 fears?

Looking at fear in the Bible, it seems there are two big categories that stand out to me.

Lots of passages about fearing God.
And lots of passages on not fearing.

So fear is obviously very powerful.

But the object of our fear seems to be the key.

What or whom do we fear?

So maybe the two fear words don't have to be so different. Maybe the difference is what the fear does to us. When we think "fear God," we often automatically think scared because that is what we know of fear. But maybe in letting God be the one we fear, fear itself takes on a whole new definition.

Does that make ANY sense?

the "fear" thing

Reading Proverbs 31 this weekend, I was reminded

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Head to home group last night and we read Proverbs 1:7

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

Wake up this morning, turn to my devotional and am guided to Proverbs 14:2

He whose walk is upright fears the Lord,
but he whose ways are devious despises him.

Do I think God may be trying to tell me something? This is one of those times I wish I knew the original Bible-writing language.

I've heard so often about this word fear - how it's not a scared fear, but an awesome respect and awe. Is that true? Then why is it repeatedly translated as fear in our English language?
Shouldn't they just say awe or deep respect or something to clarify for people like me?

And then I'm reminded of how those original languages sometimes had a lot more words than we do for certain things. Like love. Eros, agape, philio for sexual, unconditional, and brotherly love (respectively). Is this the case here? Are there many different kinds of fear in the Bible, and our language just lacks the words to really clarify which is which?

I really would like to know more about this little word.