I was insanely scared tonight. Of playing volleyball. Sounds a little ridiculous, I know. Even now looking back, I can kind of laugh at how sick to my stomach I felt on the drive over to my friend Amanda's place. I was so very nervous. I told my friend I'd play because they needed some more girls for their team, but I'm not that good at volleyball. I didn't want to look like a complete idiot, and I certainly didn't want nightmarish flashbacks of junior high P.E. class.
So when my Dad texted me an hour before volleyball and asked if I wanted to join up with him for dinner, I was really excited. Here was my out. I could just go out to eat with dad, call in my cancel to my friends under the great guise of spending time with Dad. I called Dad and let him in on my nervousness, sharing that I know it's a good thing to challenge yourself sometimes. It would be good for me to go to volleyball. Courage, you know. And as I talked, I convinced myself. I needed to do this, if for no other reason that to prove to myself that I could.
"Really now, Katherine," I said to myself. I work at a ministry where we're always challenging our girls and their families to make really scary decisions. Some of them are insanely scared. And I need to reminded sometimes what that feels like. To feel like you just want to turn back. Unsure of how the other people might react to you. Afraid of being laughed at, embarrassed, or left behind. I think it's really healthy to put ourselves in situations every now and then that challenge us, really challenge us to step out in courage.
And as for the volleyball practice with my friends?
It was a bunch of fun :)
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